The most used words of this blog.

we still got the taste dancing on our tongues.

First order of business: yes, I'm back. I've decided to use Salinger At Rest for my fashion and other random ramblings that are too mundane to go in here. And I don't even know what my Livejournal is for; I suppose for those times I need to rant about personal issues or obsess over G-Dragon (who is surprisingly being mentioned here and there for the #musicmonday trending topic...legit!) But I missed writing here, my high school past wishing for bigger and better things while I slaved away studying for APs or trying to go on Facebook while my mom thinks I'm writing my essay. I figure that now I'm finally here, the supposed good life, I might as well update everyone on how it's really turning out.

Well, the way I'm approaching schoolwork is pretty similar. Procrastinating till the very end, studying till the wee hours of night, and definitely getting distracted by my computer's beckoning call. But as every cheesy college experience goes, the several weeks I've been here I have met amazing people (namely, floormates-the dorms are just amazing for that) and I'm so excited to join magazines and other clubs. Of course, college isn't a perfect mecca where you show up and you automatically have a built in core group of friends that you'll love for the rest of your life. The classes aren't just the right dose of challenging, and the freshman 15? It does exist (though maybe not 15 pounds, I'm fucking gaining).

The first couple of days are a flurry of awkwardness, too many introductions and forgetting everyone's name within half a minute. There are ice cream socials and random meet-ups where you ask the typical what's your name/major/dorm questions. And those hot guys in your lecture? If they even do exist, there's no fucking way you'll get to talk to them unless they happen to be in your discussion section-and even then, good luck. College isn't perfect, which the 11th grader me should've known. But that same 16-year-old girl should know that college is pretty damn close to it.

There's freedom (too much of it, at times). No one's going to yell at you to do your homework, and no one's going to tell you to be back from the party by 1. You can stay up all night, eat cup noodles every fucking meal, and never be sober. But more than all that freedom, what I'm more grateful for is the maturity that instantly comes with college. Those instincts when you know that you shouldn't go out because you have a lot of reading to do. When you know not to start drama with a floormate only a few days into the year (or hook up with them, either). When you know to stock up on quarters because shit, laundry is expensive.

I feel another post coming later this week (but I don't know what about). The point was, life is pretty damn fabulous. And I'm hoping it gets even better.

TEMPORARILY MOVED: subtitles.tumblr.com

in five years' time, you might just prove me wrong.

Last year, this month would probably elicit an “it’s that time of year again” entry (in fact, it probably did, except I’m way too lazy to check). But unlike all those other times, this time is completely different. First of all, it’s complete winter weather in LA…in June. Excuse me, weather lord? But more importantly, it’s crazy to think that this is the end. This is the last time I’ll be furiously signing yearbooks, cramming every memory into a tiny white page while my marker squeaks and irritates classmates. This is the last time I’ll come home, sink into my bed, and read through people’s yearbook signings and reminisce.

And in just a week, I’ll experience the last day of school feeling for the last time. The freedom that came, the “what am I gonna do with myself for 2 and a half months? NOTHING!” feeling. But this time is going to end up a lot more bittersweet—yes, we have summer and ultimate freedom from high school (no more math class…EVER!), but when will we see the people we’ve grown up with for 12 years again? Possibly never? Even the people we shit talked and the people we occasionally brushed shoulders with in the hallways are people to get sentimental over.

Looking back to last year, I’m glad I didn’t get the friendship part of senioritis that many seniors seem to be attacked by. But I have to admit, it’s a little more painful now. Continuing and building friendships, all the way up until the last moment, until you realize things just won’t be as easy across the state or country. But I still have a little bit more time…right?

and you said, it was like fire around the brim.

i always visit my blog and feel sad that i haven't written in over a month. that being said, this entry has been long overdue. it's been procrastinated over and over by writer's block (mostly because anything burning on my mind goes toward column ideas), schoolwork (back when i cared), and major senioritis. but here i am, three hours before i take the eight hour drive to visit my future home for the next four years. with only seven days of school left, i've finally decided to sit down, lean back and type.

the surreality of it all occupies my mind the most. how did we already get here? i can understand how i'm already past being a freshman, a sophomore, and a junior, but senior year was the biggest blur. it seems like just yesterday that i was taking LA adventures with my friends last summer, and only a week ago that i glared in jealousy at all the seniors who were leaving for college. but now they've become me. we're gonna become those adults that we facebook stalked in jealousy, looking at how they adjusted to college life (err...well at least i did). and we are the ones right now, signing yearbooks, cramming every memory of our friendship in the span of a page, and listing off great friendship traits so they can look back and remember.

i don't want to forget. already, memories of elementary school and what happened with who are slipping out of my mind. i don't want to reach that point in college where i have to strain myself to remember my former best friend's name. high school was a great time, despite the countless nights spent at home studying for a dreaded final or AP. and i want to remember everything: the time i slipped on water in the hallway, all the freshman year parties, the time i attempted all you can eat sushi, that night i had a sleepover at my house and everyone was burning hot...i don't want to forget. and i'll make damn sure (tbs reference) that i won't.

for some time i thought this would be such a conflict of two lives, reflecting on one as if it's in the past and anticipating another coming up in the future. trying to remember all the great times of high school while planning college classes and meeting new friends on facebook and at orientation. but like the multitasker i am, i'm ready to live in both worlds. skypeing and ichatting my friends back home, scattered across the country, and then crawling out of my triple room to hit up yogurt park. maybe it'll be hard. and i'm betting i'll be too lazy to keep in touch with a lot of my high school friends. but to the ones that matter most to me, i will never forget.

up and down but maybe this time, we'll get it right.

At the risk of sounding pompous, of course I've always known that drama isn't worth it. I don't really understand (at all) how people feed off of drama, or arguing, for that matter. Some people just can't seem to go through life without arguing and being contentious. Lately though, I'm more and more pleasantly surprised at the...well, pleasantness of everyone around me.

It feels as if as soon to be college students, we maybe know a little better than to invest so much time and energy into giving dirty glares or making snide remarks at those we despise. With a countdown of about 2 months (!) until the big graduation, I guess most of us have seemed to go through the same thought process as I have: "Wait...why do I even hate this person?" We get so caught up in the process of hating (which, to be honest, is a lot easier than unconditional love) that we start to forget our reasons in the first place. Ill will is gone from my vocabulary, and my bitchy moments are, well, handed out in equal portions to anyone and everyone alike.

Thinking about the progress of these past four years, things all start to make sense. Freshmen year, meeting new people, relatively little drama. Everyone in one big happy group, happy to go to the same party or eat lunch together. Sophomore year, we all start to split as we nitpick little character traits that we despise about one another. Junior year, as we pull our hair out from our overload of AP classes and SATs, the cattiness rages on until about right now, second semester senior year, when we either a) got smart enough to realize that cattiness is just overrated or b) we just don't care enough about high school drama anymore when college is in 5 (!) months.

Happily mulling over our transition and maturing makes me even more grateful for college than I was before. College, the magic word that got me through annoying times in high school. College, the reason I stayed in all those weekends in envy. College, the magic ingredient to our senior lives that really made it a relatively drama-free year. And even though 'college' is making me pull out my hair now in anguish, I am ever grateful that the one word (and all the hope invested into that word) has got me through all this.

let's pretend we don't exist, let's pretend we're in antarctica.

The time's finally come. Years and years of waiting for this moment, when the letters start flooding back in. The anticipation, the thrill that awaits while our shivering hands open the envelope or click on the "View" button. But it's a little surreal that the moment has come (or it will come in a matter of days), and I barely care. Of course it'd be nice to get into my dream school, whatever that may be (and I have no clue either). But at the same time, if I were rejected from every single place from here on out, that wouldn't be such a big deal for me either. Yes, of course I am just saying this because I'm already at my heart's content as to college acceptances and such. But I pictured a different me a year ago; I thought I would be a nervous senior dreading these days that I'm in. Yet, it seems to be more of a heart-pounding anticipation for .005 seconds, immediately followed by a "whatever."

I don't know, for me right now, just being at a college would be so satisfying. I always thought the necessity of actual critical thinking would deem me an automatic failure after high school, but this doesn't seem to really hold true. Maybe I'm being an idealist in my own little world, but it really does seem that college will be the mecca of everything, at least to me. And yet there are still those feelings I didn't think I would have, those strands of me still connected to high school and the people in it, the part of me I forgot about last year but a very integral part that I can't even begin to imagine not having.

But hey, I'm still in high school.