in five years' time, you might just prove me wrong.

Last year, this month would probably elicit an “it’s that time of year again” entry (in fact, it probably did, except I’m way too lazy to check). But unlike all those other times, this time is completely different. First of all, it’s complete winter weather in LA…in June. Excuse me, weather lord? But more importantly, it’s crazy to think that this is the end. This is the last time I’ll be furiously signing yearbooks, cramming every memory into a tiny white page while my marker squeaks and irritates classmates. This is the last time I’ll come home, sink into my bed, and read through people’s yearbook signings and reminisce.

And in just a week, I’ll experience the last day of school feeling for the last time. The freedom that came, the “what am I gonna do with myself for 2 and a half months? NOTHING!” feeling. But this time is going to end up a lot more bittersweet—yes, we have summer and ultimate freedom from high school (no more math class…EVER!), but when will we see the people we’ve grown up with for 12 years again? Possibly never? Even the people we shit talked and the people we occasionally brushed shoulders with in the hallways are people to get sentimental over.

Looking back to last year, I’m glad I didn’t get the friendship part of senioritis that many seniors seem to be attacked by. But I have to admit, it’s a little more painful now. Continuing and building friendships, all the way up until the last moment, until you realize things just won’t be as easy across the state or country. But I still have a little bit more time…right?

and you said, it was like fire around the brim.

i always visit my blog and feel sad that i haven't written in over a month. that being said, this entry has been long overdue. it's been procrastinated over and over by writer's block (mostly because anything burning on my mind goes toward column ideas), schoolwork (back when i cared), and major senioritis. but here i am, three hours before i take the eight hour drive to visit my future home for the next four years. with only seven days of school left, i've finally decided to sit down, lean back and type.

the surreality of it all occupies my mind the most. how did we already get here? i can understand how i'm already past being a freshman, a sophomore, and a junior, but senior year was the biggest blur. it seems like just yesterday that i was taking LA adventures with my friends last summer, and only a week ago that i glared in jealousy at all the seniors who were leaving for college. but now they've become me. we're gonna become those adults that we facebook stalked in jealousy, looking at how they adjusted to college life (err...well at least i did). and we are the ones right now, signing yearbooks, cramming every memory of our friendship in the span of a page, and listing off great friendship traits so they can look back and remember.

i don't want to forget. already, memories of elementary school and what happened with who are slipping out of my mind. i don't want to reach that point in college where i have to strain myself to remember my former best friend's name. high school was a great time, despite the countless nights spent at home studying for a dreaded final or AP. and i want to remember everything: the time i slipped on water in the hallway, all the freshman year parties, the time i attempted all you can eat sushi, that night i had a sleepover at my house and everyone was burning hot...i don't want to forget. and i'll make damn sure (tbs reference) that i won't.

for some time i thought this would be such a conflict of two lives, reflecting on one as if it's in the past and anticipating another coming up in the future. trying to remember all the great times of high school while planning college classes and meeting new friends on facebook and at orientation. but like the multitasker i am, i'm ready to live in both worlds. skypeing and ichatting my friends back home, scattered across the country, and then crawling out of my triple room to hit up yogurt park. maybe it'll be hard. and i'm betting i'll be too lazy to keep in touch with a lot of my high school friends. but to the ones that matter most to me, i will never forget.