running races, still don't know what i've been chasing.

Really...not much has changed since three days ago, but what else can I do? My Hannah Montana marathon is over, as I've seen every single episode that could possibly be found on Youtube. Go me! Not. I tried to tackle Wizards of Waverly Place but the premise just wasn't as good, although Selena Gomez is gorgeous. The most pathetic thing about my whole Disney obsession is that...they're all younger than I am! Jesu Christo. Funny thing, I took one listen of "Watch The Sky" (SoCo) five minutes ago and it was pure amazingness. As much as I do love those Disney kids (hey, at least I don't watch The Suite Life of...whatever! Yet), my old me is beckoning me to rave about Andrew McMahon's voice instead of Nick Jonas's. Speaking of, new Jacks Mannequin soon! I'm waiting...for it to be leaked. As if I bought music? HAHA. Actually I bought a CD the other day, but let's not mention what it was...

People who always think they're right drive me crazy. Stubborn, unwilling to change their opinions, always convinced that they're the fucking best. That what they think goes, that what they say goes. Yeah, I'm back to that whole "I hate elitists/condescending people" thing again. I'm not saying I hate people who voice their opinion, but would it kill you to say it in a nice way where it doesn't demean the shit out of me? Getting shot down is one of my fears, whether it be a guy or some authority figure or one of my close friends. I know I do it too, but I get terrified when people argue a point and raise their voices over a petty thing. Okay, it might be "fun" to argue (though I don't really see it) but that degrading, I know tons of shit that you don't because you're retarded voice is really sickening.

What's amusing is that the whole "degrading" thing I talked about in the last paragraph is bothering me probably because I can't make an argument to save my life. My mom and I have the gene where we can't do comebacks (or argument-backs) or debate for shit. We're the type of people who walk away and half an hour later, smack ourselves in the head and think, "Why the fuck didn't I say that?" The other half of the family, however, are definite arguers, always getting what they want and head-butting while we play the role of mediator. Yeah, I wish I could argue my point, but I never was good with debating (at least not with speech).

I feel like I know less about myself now that I haven't done one of those introspectives in my special yellow notebook, or my myspace white box for a while. I called my blogger my introspective "about me", but it didn't exactly turn out to be a Carolyn autopsy. But it's a toss-up...do I want to keep examining my faults and occasional pros, or do I actually want to do something about it and change? Latter, please. And I feel like I've been on that road for a while.