well you done done me and you bet i felt it.

Half a month it's been...and what a half of a month. Cram all the APs and finals you can, mix it with some SAT IIs and a lot of finalized grades and projects that no one's assigned the entire year, and you've got the first half of May pretty down. But I'd like to push that to the back of my mind. So can I just tell you? Right after the AP Chem multiple choice on May 13, I officially got senioritis. It might not be as severe as those seniors I referred to in the last entry, but fuck, it is not a great thing to have. I completely screwed up the free response portion of the chem test because I was so out of it, happy that I was almost tasting freedom. I proceeded to screw up my stat and chem finals, although it didn't really matter, and I've been delaying my math homework for the entire week...there goes a potential A for the pop quiz!

But do you know what the best part is? I've got all this super procrastination going on, including finishing a project two hours before it's due (that has never in my life happened to me before), and I could care less. All I can think about is summer, and next year, and even just this weekend, when life is going to be better. All I can think about is the future. All I can do is contradict everything I just wrote in that last entry about living in the present. And sure, it's not like I'm sick of anyone here yet, but my new phrase has become "dgaf" since those four letters pretty much symbolize my life.

Summer is within reach...everyone's started counting how many days there are left, which tells me that summer is pretty damn close. This is the one summer where life is carefree; there's no SAT to prepare for, or a hard junior year in front of me. Sure, there are college apps, but really, who starts in the summer anyway? This is the summer I'm going to own, the one that will finally be all mine (the freedom of driving helps, a lot). Getting a job would be nice, especially to meet people other than the ones from school, but getting hired is a bitch and I don't know what to even shoot for. Whatever happens, I know I'm going to explore LA inside out, and then maybe a little more. And just think about it...it will be the last summer of really being a high school student. How surreal.

If you were expecting some intense rant when you opened this window today, I apologize. The stress has completely left me, and with it I feel like a part of my mind is just empty, happy thoughts...which might explain the random, boring tidbits in this entry. But you know what? I'm glad this entry sort of blows. At least my life doesn't.