they call me quiet girl, but i'm a riot.

It's been a little over a year since I started this particular blog. This was an experiment launched for three reasons:
1. GJ failed on us, and the transition to LJ was boring.
2. the Blogger layout was really appealing.
3. Blogger is public, which was probably the most attractive quality about this blog. The fact that everyone could read it, and everyone might read it, or at the very least, I could write with everyone in mind instead of the regular two or three people I usually write for.

So that's how this old thing was born. I made it one of my endless New Year's Resolutions to update regularly, which happened most of the time (except when finals and APs came along).
So after a year of posting random entries with a random lyric as a title and a random photograph to accompany it, I've discovered that good things do happen. Things do change, and not just circumstances or friends made and gone. Here's what I've realized this year...

1. I may not be that open in person, but Jesus Christ, I have no censor when I'm telling the Internet things about myself. It's something I never realized entry-to-entry, since I just type what I'm thinking and then move on. But the fact I can be so shameless while typing away in this window still amazes me.
2. More people read this than I thought. I couldn't count how many conversations this year have started with "OMG, I read your blog the other day!" I even wrote one entry with someone in mind and that person brought it up the next day, saying that they "could totally relate." Major laughs.
3. This thing actually helps when I'm in an incredibly shitty mood and I write about it. It's not so much the sporadic, sympathetic comments, nor the thrill of having it out in the open for all to potentially read, but just the fact that these thoughts in my brain have articulated themselves into concrete words. And surprisingly, I like this blog the most out of any that I've had (actually, it's probably on par with GJ...RIP).

Needless to say, I am obviously going to shoot for another yearlong stint with this blog, probably bitching about how unfair college admissions are or talking about my new Jonas Brothers replacement. And who knows? I'm not promising anything. I don't know if I'll suddenly stop writing in this because I don't feel the need to, or if I'm going to update a whole lot more because my insecurity level increased tenfold. I don't really want to know right now either.

Which brings me to my next point...2009 is almost here, and my usual tradition of having a huge list of resolutions would accompany this post. Usually I'd have a ginormous numbered list of how I need to speak up, care more, stop procrastinating, do this, do that...but this year, fuck that. I pretty much have the same resolutions year after year, which is kind of dumb. If the resolutions were working, I wouldn't need any repeats, would I? So, I've decided to only have one solitary resolution this year, one I really want to keep.

1. Accept the present.

Too many times this year I've been stuck in the past, wanting things the way they used to be. I would be stuck in my hopes for the future, hoping things would turn out a particular way to benefit me. But no more. I want to just embrace what comes, whether it's really good or really shitty. Maybe I'll whine and bitch for a little, but I don't want to think that anything is the be all and end all of my life, because it's not. So really, I want to keep in mind: Shit happens. Deal with it.

So there's the end of that. No want of change or anything on my list this year, because honestly, I could care less about being a perfect archetype of the most lovable person right now. Maybe my current opinion about change will change in the near future, but again, I'll deal with that when it comes.